So final grades got released yesterday i ended up with a 77.5 overall, but i got two 80's, one in my geography class and the other in my 4th year English class. I worked my ass of for the two of those classes so I'm pleased the others were mid 70's which is what i expected from them so not really disappointed with those grades esp as one of them is from a prof that's a hard marker and the other is not even in my field of study and the final exam was worth 50%. I'm super relieved and my final GPA for my last two years is a 75% or a 3.0 so a B which is generally how i've always done at school. I'm super tired and drained i think from all the anxiety and now my attention or anxiety has shifted from school marks being out more towards my appt on wed. and finding a Job. Most grad schools want a B+ average but i'm hoping that if i can get good references then i should be ok *crosses fingers* and my brother said if its a course based program they'll accept you cause they want to fill up as much space as possible so we'll see. Not applying till next year or the year after as i want to get a job gain some experience and just try and get as much money saved as possible and also to try and get myself better be in a better place to get things done. Sigh just sigh... will take anxiety meds tonight but can't take sleeping pills which means it won't be a good night at all, will try and read myself to sleep, reading three different books at once its quite a challenge but also enjoying.
Parents are pissing me off right now, just because i said one thing one fucking things and they are just going off on me about their childhood and how difficult it was for them :roll: Pisses me off to no end. Almost was in tears but helped myself back wanted to yell at least you were happy you may have had to do more work, but you don't have to deal with depression with perfectionism with an ED, and you don't live in a world where one's image is everything you never have and never did.
Took my dog out yesterday for a bike ride, and things were going well until she saw a dog and flipped me over my bike and unto the floor scraped my right knee and left thigh even though i was wearing long pants, i was so mad at her so now the front of my bike is Jammed, like the front wheel won't turn which is sucky as i just got it fixed last summer and its probably going to cose mt $50-$100 to fix. So mad about that because i don't have the extra money to fix it.
neways other than that little incident things were ok, have to go see my uncle tomorrow and not happy about it at all. My dad is basically forcing me to go and i don't even know why but at least i can get out of eating hopefully *crosses fingers*. Keep going around in circles wish my brain could shut off but it doesn't and yeah, trying to make plans with friend for next week but i have to work around my appt date. Have to make sure to have the correct address and also print off directions ahead of time and just study it so i know where i'm going and make sure that i can get the car to go. That's my biggest concern really. I'm getting more nervous and such but that's what anxiety meds are for right? Will take the time on our way to my uncles place about going to schl on the 13'th of May and will see/make sure i can get a ride if not will have to figure out a way to get down by bus which is seeming harder and harder to do and more confusing every time i look at it so will have to ask dad and then plan from there. Hopefully he'll be going somewhere close and/or he won't mind dropping me off cause i can find my way back that's easier. Blahh yeah don't know what else to say so yeah.
Hope everyone is having a better weekend :1hug:
1 comment:
-hugs you tightly- I'm sorry about your parents, your dog and your bike! :( If I could, I'd give you mine, since I no longer ride mine; but you live too far away.
Take it easy my dear, Maybe try drinking tea to help with those nerves of yours. <3
me.
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