Change

It's a working title, might change it at some point, but this was just how i felt after my first sessions of the new year with my therapist. I've been working with her now for about 4yrs and we are coming to the end of our time together, and so in the next four months or so she is going to be wrapping up our time together as we part ways. What i am going to do after that is still undecided, and it is something i'm thinking about. From here on out she will be known as T (Therapist), and other acronmyms you need to know Doctor (Dr.), Psychologist (psych or pdoc). Mostly anyone who i mention will be anonymous as i will post just letter for their first initial and thats about it. I hope you like this poem, some feedback would be nice, and criticism on how i could have made it better or could make it better is welcome.

I see people all around me changing, evolving.

Yet I seem stuck unchanged, unmoved

Slowly devolving, diminishing

Invisible, to those around me

The weight of the term,

The expectation,

Slowly crushing me

Pushing at me from every side,

Reminding me of its significance

Its finality

The pressure is getting to me

Too many questions

But no one hears,

No one listens

Feelings invisible to those around me

 Unable to hold it all up, I’m sinking

 Slowly, devolving, into nothingness

Physically shrinking

Wanting to be the invisibility that shrouds me

Change or lack of change,

All seems irrelevant to me

Pushing at me from every corner

I slip into the arms of EDNOS

It beckons me,

Welcomes me with promises

I hesitate, look back

But slowly give in

I feel its understanding

Its control

Its lack of judgement

Its finality

Its ever listening ears and comforting words

As I slowly shrink into nothingness

Oblivion welcomes me

Crowds me with obscurity

Silence overwhelms me

Slipping

 Sinking into the welcome protection of EDNOS