Quick Update

Today is ok, nothing special happened. Talked to my T and we went way over time lol like 1/2 more than normal, neways i explained a lot to her, how i felt about certain things and just how my dr was really not hearing me, and not listening to me. I expressed how i felt about my weight and part of the reason why i wanted to lose so much weight  and it felt good. to admit that i wasn't ok and that things were spiraling out of control and to explain why they were. She's concerned about me but not to the point where she feels the need to talk to my psych about me yet, so that's always a good sign cause it means i can pick and choose what i tell her. My session today with my T made me realize why i keep seeing her and that's because she can be a really good listener and she pushes me to explain things, she asks for clarification when she's not sure she heard me right and she challenges me to want to get better. She questions and calls me out on my need for control while still asserting that it is out of concern for me and my low intake and my body than anything else. In short it was nice to get everything out, it was good to talk, to not hold it in any longer and now i feel like I'm free of this dirty little secrete that I've been carrying around with me. I'm still going to be restricting and over exercising and restricting, but now i know someone knows, and I almost feel like the responsibility is no longer mine lol, she can do w/e she wants with the information but its like i don't have to hold it all in anymore. Sorry for the ramble but yeah in a good mood tonight, even if my ex is being a fucking asshole about coming to collect something as simple as a firkin toaster *rolls eyes* men pffttt..... but I've decided to let it go nothing can ruin my good mood today. *knock on wood lol*