Sunday, February 13, 2011
Ambivalence
I am ambivalent right now, not sure if i want to get better or not. Choice is still mine. Keep cooking and baking but not eating very much at all. Took all 3 pills today for the first time in about a week, and i could feel the combined effect of them all. Tired, spent most of my day talking to a friend but didn't get much reading done. Tomorrow will be a get up early day get as much done as possible go to bed early, cause i have a Therapist appt at 9.30 and i need to be fully awake for it. Feeling a bit meh and wondering if my ambivalence is because i'm scared to stop and think of the weight of my actions and if i do that i'll be too paralyzed by fear to really do anything. So for now i'm just surviving, pushing through sort of wondering when the day will come when i can't push through any longer. Lets hope it never comes......
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2 comments:
Please take care :[ Good luck with the therapist appointment. I really hope you'll be able to find something that helps you even if just a little bit. xxx
Here from BUS. Please take good care of yourself. I'm sorry you are struggling with ambivalence. I hope you choose to get better. And good luck with the therapist's appointment.
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