Saw my therapist today and lets just say I'm left feeling a bit scared. Basically she is super worried about me and even though i said that i was going to be honest with my appt w/ my psychologist on wed, she still feels the need to talk to her, ( its not that she doesn't trust me), its more just she wants to convey her concerns i guess. shes worried about me and thinks that i might end up doing some serious damage to my body if i don't stop using the pills, stop puring and start eating better. She's going to talk to my psychologist, cause she is that worried about things, and basically she said that if i can't get better on my own i'll have to go to the hospital, like an ED program, and i mean the decision is still mine right now, but if i ever end up in the hospital for w/e reason like chest pains or something then i can say goodbye to my choice to not go IP. Want to crawl into a whole and just stop living right now, just want to disappear and yeah dunno, feeling a bit sad and scared right now. Not really sure what to do with myself, everything seems insignificant compared to this.
IP= Inpatient
6 comments:
I'm sorry. I wish I had some comforting words. Maybe just thinking about being in a hospital for a few days might change your mind. Sometimes my mind goes off a little but I swear Ana hurts us more than helps us. So just think about IP, because sometimes I feel like I'm living in hell and I'm not ready to go to a hospital, but your being given the option to choose on your own rather than being forced. Sorry that you have to make such a decision:( always there for you.
xx
Can't go IP, too much to lose if i do. Its my final semester in my final year then I'm done university, spend 3 1/2 yrs of my life in schl already and i don't want to throw that all away. Also my parents don't know about my ED and if i went IP I'd have to tell them which is not something i want to do because they don't have very good reactions to mental illnesses so IP is a very bad idea for me. Plus think it will make things worse than better.
I'm really sorry you're so scared and everything is happening like this :[ I hope you don't have to go but that if you do it helps you.
I wish I had something better to say but I just don't know :[
Take care xxx
Nothings been decided yet, i'm going to hold of making a post till after my appointment that way i'll have a better idea of what is happening. Thanx NightFlower and RosesRed.
I'm sorry to hear that - and I wish I had words to make it better...
Just know this... everything will be okay... everything happens for a reason... scary things can happen, but in the end, you will always have us, friends, and other loved ones for support... Honey, you are not alone.
Thanx Glitch that means a lot... a friend of mine who is anorexic sent me this message earlier and it was basically that things are so bad for her now that if she dosen't stop purging using lax and over exercising shes is going to die of a sudden heart attack :(... like she could drop dead at any time
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